Anyhow, I think I'm a Communist.

Okay, maybe not really. In theory, however, I do like the sound of communism, everyone working for the good of everyone and all that. Sounds nice. In practical application though, it seems to breed overpowered, self serving governments and extremely heavy chandeliers** (for the explanation of the chandelier part, see the end of this posting). So I don't know, maybe I'm a socialist instead. I still haven't done that political research I was mentioning and politics isn't really where I was going with the above title anyhow. It was more along the lines of economics.

I was hanging out with my older brother the other weekend. We had just cooked up some steaks on the grill, and we were watching that movie "Million Dollar Baby". It seemed like a real good flick for the first hour. I don't know how it ends because I couldn't stick around and watch the whole thing. I had shcool work that couldn't wait. As I've mentioned before, I'm a pretty busy person between working forty hours a week and taking 12 credits. My brother, being a physician's assisstant, is also pretty busy. Come to think of it, I hardly know anyone that doesn't either work two jobs, work a ridiculous amount of hours at one job, or work and go to school. There's even an example in my College Math 1 book that includes a graph showing how the average American work week has been increasing for the past 50 years or so. We're up to an average of somewhere around 55 working hours a week, according to this book. The kick in the ass to me is, with all this technology at our disposale which produces more goods and processes more information with less effort, shouldn't we be working less than ever? But no, the opposite takes place, and we work harder and become more efficient so we can...... work harder still and become even more efficient! It's nuts, is there any end to all this producitivity, any final goal to it? We only live once, should we really be spending a majority of our time working our asses off, all so Bill Gates or some other corporate fuck can buy themselves another yacht? There has to be better a way. What that better way is, I don't know. That's what we have supercomputers for. I hope that somewhere out there, there is a brilliant economist or two at work trying to find a way to stop all this madness before it gets too out of hand. Right now, the modified free market economy is the only way things seem to work themselves out correctly, if you could call our current state working things out correctly. Truth be told, I enjoy being ridiculously busy, granted that at least one of my endeavors of productivity is something I enjoy, which right now is the case (I love what I'm in school for). I just don't want things to get out of hand. The next thing you know, they'll be inventing a new kind of drug that has the stay-awake power of crystal meth without all the nasty side effects so we can do away with this whole sleep thing that seems to be getting in everyone's way (doctors and corporate executives would love it).

**About the chandelier thing... for those of you who never had this economics lesson, one of the problems of communism is that the government controls the production of goods to a large degree. The government can be wrong in their estimates, for one thing, and for another, it just seems to breed all kinds of complications. In communist Russia, for example, the government would measure the production of chandeliers by weight instead of per unit or anything like that. Needless to say, this was a bad idea. To meet the metric ton quota they had to fill, companies would just make heavier chandeliers, and Russian chandeliers were known for their propensity to come crashing down for quite some time. So if you want to insult someone's mother, just say, "Yo mama's so fat, she's heavier than a Russian chandelier", and whoever you're insulting will probably just look you at funny.

I was going to title this "I think I'm a Communist".....

.....But then I got dragged into a political conversation, by none other than my cousin Jane. First she gets me into this blogging business, now she's pulling me into politics (again, goddam you Jane). I was then reminded of how politically ignorant I am, which is an admitted crime for somone at the higher end of the IQ range who should be aware of what's going on in the world so I can at least cast my one measly vote with some competency and possibly even take other avenues to change the status quo (join the ACLU, or the Libertarian Party, etc.- calm down Jane, I'm using the ACLU as an example, I know you're cringing- not that I think there's necessarily anything wrong with the ACLU. Again, I"m too ignorant to have much of an opinion). Anyhow, ridiculously long parenthesis aside, I really must admit that I'm very uneducated about politics in general. My usual philosophy is that my one stupid vote doesn't really amount to much and that I'm too poor to make much of a difference otherwise. More importantly, I'm way too caught up in my own life (I work 40 hours a week and take 12 credits) to have much time for things that I have a totally negligable effect on.... but I would really like to be at least well informed enough to have a solid opinion on things (I feel like I miss out whenever people start talking politics), so I think I'll check out a couple suggested sites that Jane referred me to. I don't feel excessively guilty about my ignorance though, considering two of the most intelligent guys I know use their superior IQ's to fight evil and promote the common good...... in the World of Warcraft (it's a computer game, for those of you who are non-gamers). But anyhow, here I go, off to form a political opinion. And I swore I wouldn't get political unitl I make at least $25,000 a year.....

Crazy little thing called Love

Even though I don't think you can find topics that get much more reflectual on the human race than diet soda and sneezing ritual, I thought I'd try deeper waters for my next topic of random drivel. Having grown up as a red blooded American male in the modern era, it's ingrained in you from about the age of five that the point of your entire life is to someday fall in love. (When was the last time you saw a popular movie with a happy ending that didn't invlove the guy getting the girl?) Love....... damned, dirty, pain in my fucking ass- LOVE, it's so over-rated it makes me want to vomit. Don't get me wrong, I look forward to finding the right girl someday, but I really don't think that's going to happen (I'll end up settling, like most people do), but even if I do find the girl of my dreams, fall in love, have delightful children, and die happy, I really don't believe that there's half as much substance to romantic love as what's made out to be in our love-crazy culture. My major problem with romantic love is that when it comes right down to it, it's extremely superficial. Think about it, let's assume I do find the aforementioned girl of my dreams. Half the reason she would be the girl of my dreams is that I would connect with her on a deep intellectual & emotional level, that's all well and good. The other half of it, of course, is that I would find her pleasing to look at.... but if she's not pleasing to look at, there's no way I'm falling in love with her, simple as that, end of story. This love thing that's supposed to be at the heart of what it is to be human falls apart when another person isn't physically configured just so...... and ladies, before you start to say that's just how guys are and that women aren't as superficial, ask yourself, when have you ever dated a guy that was shorter than you? (If you have, hat's off, and there's someone I'd like you to meet...). Also, before any of you try to tell me that this is just because I haven't experienced love myself (which is true enough), keep in mind that I'm not saying that I don't believe it's a real thing. I completely acknowledge that there's a profound feeling of intimacy out there that is referred to as love in the English language, and that I may experience this for myself some day. I just don't believe that it's really as meaningful as what it's made out to be. Comments are welcome (whether in agreeance or not)
(Note: for a good example of the fragility of human attraction, check out the movie Vanilla Sky)

SOON TO COME: WHY MY FRIEND NATE CANT GET LAID***

***Just kidding nate, I'm sure you'll get laid someday..... for reals though, I should have another posting up by Sunday, July 10. Jane, Natalie, Stephanie, Genocide - thanks for the input.

Bless Me??? F*%&$ YOU!!!

Here's some more random shit off the cuff for you.... (those of you that know me may be familiar with this rambling, so bear with me). I really hate the convention of blessing people after they sneeze. It's one of those things we've come to do almost instinctually without thinking of it, as it's considered "common courtesy" and everything. For a long time growing up I did do it without much thought, just as I thoughtlessly said 'no thanks' to people thinking it meant "I will not extend my thanks to you", and not "no, but thank you for offering".... anyhow, one day I got around to asking someone (it may have been my fifth grade teacher or my mother) what the deal with blessing each other after we sneeze is and I got the same story as what most of you are probably familiar with.... long ago when people were even more superstitious and uneducated than they generally are today, there was a belief that when you sneezed your soul left your body for a split second, and that left you susceptible to demon possession and such (at least that's the version I heard). Hence, we bless each other to this day...... fucking corny if you ask me. Every time we bless each other what we're really doing is acknowledging how thoughtless and programmable we really are when it comes down to it, like we're saying, "I am going to do my part in keeping alive this convention of society which makes no sense and is totally unnecessary, for the sake of tradition and so that others won't look at me funny and think I'm rude for not blessing them after they sneeze". Total fascist bullshit.... okay, it's not exactly fascist, but you get the idea. So the next time someone sneezes, instead of saying 'bless you', say "Watch out, the demons are coming!!!", and you'll mean about the same goddam thing. I say we do away with sneeze acknowledgement all together. Is it really necessary to respond to each other's sneezes? It's not like when someone trips and falls or something like that, in which case it is totally practical to acknowledge it by asking the person if they're ok and such. In the case of a sneeze, sneezing usually feels rather good, so it warrants no such concern. I personally look forward to sneezing, or maybe that's just because the demons I'm possessed with get happy because more company is on the way.....
Anyhow, the whole "bless you" courtesy can go to hell as far as I'm concerned.

The Paragraph Drink

And what do I choose for a first topic for my searchingly titled blog? None other than an exploration of diet soda, of all things. As a longtime diet soda drinker it's nice to see that they're finally coming out with a few more options for those of us who don't like to put our blood-sugar levels through the ringer. Coca-Cola gets extra props for having several different kinds of diet soda out on the market now: Diet Coke, Diet Coke with Splenda, Coke Zero-(this is my favorite), Diet Coke w/Lime, Diet Coke w/vanilla, and the long awaited Diet Cherry Coke (it's hard to find, I think they only sell it in bulk), and, of course, Diet caffeine-free coke, for those of you who are stimulant sensitive. Some might think that this is gettting a little out of hand, but such individuals can kiss my option-happy ass. I hate being lumped in with the mass consumer market of sheep who just want regular this, normal old that, and missionary such and such. I find it insulting when a company doesn't tend to the wants of adventurous consumers such as myself who are willing to try anything once, even if it does involve smoking crack with a hooker. So kudos to the fine folks at Coke for taking a chance........ Also worthy of recognition is the new Diet sensation Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper, which has been affectionately dubbed "The Paragraph Drink" by one of my friends from ITT due to the exuberantly long title. It's pretty good shit for diet, and so is Coke Zero, which has managed to somehow taste a little bit more like regular soda than diet drinks of yester-year. Pepsi also has some fine diet products out, (I enjoy their Diet vanilla and lime flavors), but I just had to give coke the extra rec. for going all out. Of course, it now takes me about half an hour to pick out a soda and a bag of chips (Doritos has also expanded their horizons), but it's a small price to pay, as far as I'm concerned.

me